Nanci wrote the following article.

       We have all been hurt in some shape or form by our spouses. We cannot forget that they and we are human. We will let each other down. God and God alone is the only always loving, never changing, omnipotent person that we have assurance of.

       How do we heal the hurts that have taken place? How do we repair the damage we have created?

       1. First we must recognize, confess and repent of our own sin.

       Ps 32:5 "I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah."

       Acts 3:19 "Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord; "

       Acts 8:22 "Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee."

       True repentance brings change in the individual, as Jesus told the adultress woman in Matthew go and SIN NO MORE. Repenting without allowing God to make the necessary changes in your life is not going to accomplish anything.

       2. We must FORGIVE the one who has hurt us

       Matthew 6:13-15"Mt 6:13 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you;But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

        2Co 2:10 To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ;"

       Jesus forgives our sins and remembers them no more. He doesn't throw them up to us when He doesn't get His way in our lives. We too, must show that same forgiveness. We, no matter what the situation must totally forgive. I can hear it all now. I have forgiven and forgiven and can't forgive anymore. Yes, my friend you can.

       Peter went to Jesus and askedMatthew 18:21 "Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?" and Jesus replied:Matthew 18:22 Jesus said to him, "Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven." Also remember that there are repercussions for us for not forgiving others Mark 11:25 "And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."

       3. Remember that most hurts come from carelessness and are not afflicted on purpose.

       4. Bless the one who hurts you!! I bet your saying, "oh come on now." Nope I am dead serious.:

       There is a great power when we return blessing for reviling or hurt. Of course at the moment our flesh is roaring to strike back in vengeance, but remember vengeance is HIS not ours!

       Romans 12:17 "Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men." Ro 12:18-19, If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

       Remember hurt is only deepened by retaliation.

       5. Cast your hurts and pain over to God! Satan loves nothing better than to encourage us to harbor our hurt, or to convince us we are entitled to harbor it.

       Psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."

       Remember hurt is temporary look at what David said about the hurt he felt:

       Psalms 30:5 "For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."


       6. Don't wallow in self-pity! Self-pity is one of the most selfish attitudes we can acquire. It serves only to feed and perpetuate the hurt making us dwell on it.

       7. Let them know your heart. But of course use the Spirit of Love in doing so. Look at Joseph what all he went through at the hands of his brothers. God uses unjust things in our lives to accomplish HIS higher purpose. Look at what Joseph told his brothers:

       Genesis 50:20 But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive." This shows us an example of God using unjust situations for His higher purpose.

       Although we have discussed many different issue's here if you really look at what it takes to repair hurt it boils down to FORGIVENESS.The miracle of forgiveness isn't just what it does for the one offending. The real blessing comes in what it does for the one forgiving. The great news is that hurt can be repaired. But it's really up to us.


       Am I holding grudges and harboring hurt that my spouse has inflicted upon me? Do I feel I am entitled to these feelings?

       Since it's up to me to forgive, am I willing to take this leap and allow the healing to begin?


E-Mail Nanci

back to mom of 9's         E-Mail

The Christian Counter

Baptist TOP1000